Just Not In The Mood.

No, this isn't going to be a post about that.

I just haven't been in the mood to keep up with this here blog. I don't know why I do things like this. I get all kinds of excited for a brand new project of some sort, a billion ideas run through my brain, but once the novelty wears off and it becomes something I have to do versus something I want to do I rebel and give up. I know I'm only hurting myself and I'm boring for you guys to read. I really am sorry.

I'm also tired. I started working three days a week (three very loooonnngg days) prepping at my dad's new restaurant to help get it up and running in addition to taking care of the kids and being the house-cleaner, the bill-payer, the money-budgeter (New word! You're welcome Webster's.), the chauffeur, and the disciplinarian, I'm pretty much too wiped out to write about anything let alone something interesting and funny that people would enjoy reading.

I also have a lot of self doubt.

Why Today Sucked, A List

-I overslept and then was rushed getting the boys and myself ready to take Johnnie to school. This resulted in not realizing what temperature it was outside and thus we were all overdressed. This brings me to my next reason...

-It was freakin' 80 degrees outside! Which sounds like it'd be awesome for the end of September in Washington but it was muggy as hell. I was not a fan.

-My lovely husband decided to put his slacks for work in the dryer instead of ironing them this morning to get the wrinkles out and didn't check his pockets. There is now blue ink all over a whole load of laundry that I had already had in there. Any suggestions on how to get the ink out will be greatly appreciated.

-My fat jeans fall off of me and my skinny jeans make my muffin top more...muffiny.

-My one year old was the crankiest little turd all day and refused to take a nap.

-And then, my one year old puked in the bread aisle of Safeway. I guess that explains the crankiness.

-I procrastinated again and didn't make some important phone calls that I've been putting off doing. This brought an odd mixture of guilt and relief. Until tomorrow.

-My house is super hot.

Maria, The Awesome, Fights A Jellyfish *UPDATE WITH PICTURES!*

View from our room. Jealous much? Yeah, I thought so.

When Jeff and I arrived in Puerto Rico last month we were beyond ecstatic. According to weather reports online it was supposed to be raining the whole time we were there but it wasn't at all. Actually, it only rained the day we left while we were on our way to the airport. It was just gorgeous. And hot.

The minute we walked out of the airport it was like we were punched in the face by the humidity. Being from western Washington we were definitely not used to this weather but we really didn't care. It was sunny!





We got in around 1:30 in the afternoon and went straight to the hotel. Even though we weren't supposed to be able to check into our room until 4:00pm they let us check-in anyway and even upgraded our room so we'd have a view of the ocean. BONUS!!! We were totally thinking that this trip was just getting better and better. We went up to our room, checked it out, looked out the window and saw how absolutely GORGEOUS the beach was and decided that we were gonna go play in the water.



We laid out on the beach for awhile and hung out but after awhile I got bored and wanted to go hop over waves and whatnot so we did that. The water was so warm and the sand was really soft under our feet. The only problem was that I kept getting salt water in my eyes and it would hurt so bad and I would just stand there holding my eye closed afraid to open it because I was wearing my contacts. I'm sure I was a sight.




Right before the attack. So happy. So hopeful.

So there Jeff and I are, only two hours into our trip and having a great time. We're jumping around, giggling, and trying not to get knocked down by the waves when I felt a very, very slight tingling feeling on my foot. I really didn't notice it until it was an afterthought which I brought up to Jeff. We didn't really think it was a jellyfish or anything, probably something that just felt weird, and in typical Maria and Jeff fashion we took the joke too far and were just saying stupid things and pretending to get stung when all of a sudden it felt like someone had tasered the back of my leg. I've never actually been shot with a taser, but that is exactly what I think one would feel like. My voice got all high-pitched and squealy and I started hopping towards the beach. When we got out and looked at my leg there was about a half dollar sized red spot on my leg. Within a couple minutes it had doubled in size and became a giant welt. My whole leg felt like it was on fire and when we showed the sting to the doorman he kind of chuckled and was like, "Yup, that's a jellyfish sting." Thanks buddy, we figured that out.



I wont tell you what happened when we got into the room but I will say that the theory of urinating on a jellyfish sting happens to be a giant freakin' lie and doesn't work. Theoretically speaking, of course. It's not like I begged my husband to pee on my leg while I stood in the shower awkwardly or anything. Ahem. I will say that it's a good thing that I was the one out of the two of us that got stung because if it was my husband we probably would've ended up going home that evening and I would have had to listen to him whine about how he got stung for the rest of my natural born life.

The End.



P.S. Did you know that jellyfish stings typically tend to go away after about a day but then a week later will totally come back itching like a mother-effer? Yeah, I didn't either. But they do. Oh god, do they ever. And they can keep coming back for up to nine months! Yay me!

P.P.S. Things like this tend to only happen to me. This is why I am scared of everything and basically live like a hermit.

P.P.P.S. Once my computer quits being so douchey I will post pictures for y'all! Can't wait!

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Here are some of those pics I promised awhile back! I just want to add to the story above that the welt went down after the first night and the rest of the trip was awesome. Every once in awhile I'd accidently scratch it and want to keep itching but I can practice self control every now and again.

It's Hot and I'm Whiny

According to Weather.com it is currently 92 degrees outside and my thermostat says it is 85 degrees in my house. This is not normal for Washington state, especially since we pretty much haven't had a summer at all this year, and Washington houses do not come equipped with air conditioners. I don't know how to react to the heat like this and my first instinct is to wear the least amount of clothing I can get away with, eat Otter Pops and lay on the floor. While whimpering and whining about how hot it is.

Aren't Otter Pops incredible? They are probably my most favorite food, if you can even call them a food. We don't get them often because I lack any kind of self-control and will literally grab them by the sheetful and eat about 20 to 30 in one sitting without even realizing it. And I don't use any fancy scissors to open my Otter Pops. No, I've learned and honed the divine skill of ripping them open with my teeth. I am very lady-like if you can't tell. Usually after the carnage is done we will find the little plastic tops all over our house for weeks if not months.

Have you ever felt the pain of the sudden realization that you are out of Otter Pops? It is almost unbearable. Picture this, you're going about your day to day activities when all of a sudden a little thought pops into your head, "I think an Otter Pop would be delicious and refreshing right about now". You walk into your kitchen and on over to your fridge all hopeful and optimistic, you open your freezer door, then WHAMO! You're hit with the sudden realization that you're staring into an Otter Pop-less void. It's utterly depressing.

I really wish I had an Otter Pop right now.

P.S. I'm sorry this post is random and not very interesting. My brain can't function like this.

Remember How I Said I Was Going To Start Tanning?

Well, I started and I've successfully burned the crap out of various parts of my body including my boobs and my ass. I would show you a picture but since this is only our third date it's probably inappropriate and I don't want you to think I'm easy. Not yet at least ;).

Anyhoo, I am in a lot of pain. And itchy. Oh boy, am I itchy. And since the worse burns are on my private areas it's not really appropriate to just go ahead and scratch my boobs at the doctor's office or my ass in line at Walmart. I could but I don't think it'd be appreciated.

It's really not my fault I burned, though, it's the stupid fan's fault. There was a fan in the room and I cleverly aimed it right at my head and decided since I'm half Greek, even though I haven't tanned in probably two years and am naturally very pale, that I could totally go the whole 20 minutes in the bed. Totally, right? And since I had the fan blowing cold air on my head I didn't realize that my body was sizzling and sparking at all. Not one bit. So, this is all the fan's fault with it's wonderfully cold, cold deceiving air.

I think I may sue.