My oldest, Johnnie, has caught some kind of bug and was up puking all night. Poor kid. Do you know who was up along side him cleaning up said puke? This girl. Poor Mommy. We're not sure what happened or where it came from but he was fine all day yesterday, got sick around 1am, finally fell back asleep around 3ish and is acting fine now. We still kept him home from school anyway just to be on the safe side.

So, after an exhausting night I think some laughs are in order and here are some videos that always make me giggle. :)

This cat makes me laugh every time.

I want to run out and buy a hamster. And a piano. And some popcorn.

And lastly, just another day with my husband and son.


Why Today Sucked, A List

-I overslept and then was rushed getting the boys and myself ready to take Johnnie to school. This resulted in not realizing what temperature it was outside and thus we were all overdressed. This brings me to my next reason...

-It was freakin' 80 degrees outside! Which sounds like it'd be awesome for the end of September in Washington but it was muggy as hell. I was not a fan.

-My lovely husband decided to put his slacks for work in the dryer instead of ironing them this morning to get the wrinkles out and didn't check his pockets. There is now blue ink all over a whole load of laundry that I had already had in there. Any suggestions on how to get the ink out will be greatly appreciated.

-My fat jeans fall off of me and my skinny jeans make my muffin top more...muffiny.

-My one year old was the crankiest little turd all day and refused to take a nap.

-And then, my one year old puked in the bread aisle of Safeway. I guess that explains the crankiness.

-I procrastinated again and didn't make some important phone calls that I've been putting off doing. This brought an odd mixture of guilt and relief. Until tomorrow.

-My house is super hot.


Word Of Advice...*~*UPDATE*~*

Never, and I repeat, never, pop a zit...while slightly inebriated.

You're welcome.

I overheard this statement on the TV today:

Dude talking about some hot famous chick: "She looks like a Greek Goddess, well I guess not Greek because she's not hairy."

My feelings got hurt.


You Probably Shouldn't Even Bother Yourself With Reading This...

I drank way too much coffee today so right now I'm feeling like I need to clean all my bathrooms from top to bottom, hit up a Joann Fabric's hard, and finally clean out the 'too small' clothes in my kid's closets. With a slight case of paranoid anxiety underlying it all. Fun times. Most likely I'll just alternate between hanging out on the computer and crocheting flowers. I'm really into crocheting flowers right now.

Wanna know how I was able to get myself into such a state? Because I FINALLY bought a full-sized coffee maker from Walmart yesterday for only, brace yourself, $6.88. Seriously. Obviously it's the lowest of the low when you're talking about coffee maker quality, but who cares? I've got crack in a cup. Yay!

On a completely unrelated topic (that is really probably something best for a Twitter 'tweet' or something or other but I'm getting old and Twitter scares me) Johnnie was talking to my husband about numbers earlier today and Jeff asked him what his favorite number was. Johnnie didn't even skip a beat and told him that his favorite number is one. And the reason? Because it's easy. Hmmm.

And then he sang a song about it.

I apologize for this abomination masquerading around as a legitimate post. Because it's not.

P.S. Did anyone watch Glee last night???? I did and do you know who's freakin' excited it's back?? This girl. And Puck is still hot. Just sayin'.


Maria, The Awesome, Fights A Jellyfish *UPDATE WITH PICTURES!*

View from our room. Jealous much? Yeah, I thought so.

When Jeff and I arrived in Puerto Rico last month we were beyond ecstatic. According to weather reports online it was supposed to be raining the whole time we were there but it wasn't at all. Actually, it only rained the day we left while we were on our way to the airport. It was just gorgeous. And hot.

The minute we walked out of the airport it was like we were punched in the face by the humidity. Being from western Washington we were definitely not used to this weather but we really didn't care. It was sunny!



We got in around 1:30 in the afternoon and went straight to the hotel. Even though we weren't supposed to be able to check into our room until 4:00pm they let us check-in anyway and even upgraded our room so we'd have a view of the ocean. BONUS!!! We were totally thinking that this trip was just getting better and better. We went up to our room, checked it out, looked out the window and saw how absolutely GORGEOUS the beach was and decided that we were gonna go play in the water.


We laid out on the beach for awhile and hung out but after awhile I got bored and wanted to go hop over waves and whatnot so we did that. The water was so warm and the sand was really soft under our feet. The only problem was that I kept getting salt water in my eyes and it would hurt so bad and I would just stand there holding my eye closed afraid to open it because I was wearing my contacts. I'm sure I was a sight.


Right before the attack. So happy. So hopeful.

So there Jeff and I are, only two hours into our trip and having a great time. We're jumping around, giggling, and trying not to get knocked down by the waves when I felt a very, very slight tingling feeling on my foot. I really didn't notice it until it was an afterthought which I brought up to Jeff. We didn't really think it was a jellyfish or anything, probably something that just felt weird, and in typical Maria and Jeff fashion we took the joke too far and were just saying stupid things and pretending to get stung when all of a sudden it felt like someone had tasered the back of my leg. I've never actually been shot with a taser, but that is exactly what I think one would feel like. My voice got all high-pitched and squealy and I started hopping towards the beach. When we got out and looked at my leg there was about a half dollar sized red spot on my leg. Within a couple minutes it had doubled in size and became a giant welt. My whole leg felt like it was on fire and when we showed the sting to the doorman he kind of chuckled and was like, "Yup, that's a jellyfish sting." Thanks buddy, we figured that out.


I wont tell you what happened when we got into the room but I will say that the theory of urinating on a jellyfish sting happens to be a giant freakin' lie and doesn't work. Theoretically speaking, of course. It's not like I begged my husband to pee on my leg while I stood in the shower awkwardly or anything. Ahem. I will say that it's a good thing that I was the one out of the two of us that got stung because if it was my husband we probably would've ended up going home that evening and I would have had to listen to him whine about how he got stung for the rest of my natural born life.

The End.


P.S. Did you know that jellyfish stings typically tend to go away after about a day but then a week later will totally come back itching like a mother-effer? Yeah, I didn't either. But they do. Oh god, do they ever. And they can keep coming back for up to nine months! Yay me!

P.P.S. Things like this tend to only happen to me. This is why I am scared of everything and basically live like a hermit.

P.P.P.S. Once my computer quits being so douchey I will post pictures for y'all! Can't wait!

Here are some of those pics I promised awhile back! I just want to add to the story above that the welt went down after the first night and the rest of the trip was awesome. Every once in awhile I'd accidently scratch it and want to keep itching but I can practice self control every now and again.


Oh! Hello There!

Hey, how have you been? Long time no see! Come around these parts often? Me neither, apparently.

If you couldn't tell I have been absent for awhile and while I had all these awesome pictures and stories to share with you guys it probably isn't going to happen for another week or three or eighteen because my computer has given me the middle finger. Allegedly, someone has bogged it down with computer games and pictures. Allegedly.

My computer is a freebie from a family friend who builds computers for funsies (...I guess...) and doesn't have some fancy data/picture/music burning do-hickey program on it but "someone" has loaded so much stuff onto the poor beast that at any moment it's about to blow and everything I love will be destroyed. All right, it's not quite that dramatic, but it feels like it cause I really could lose all my pictures. And I like my pictures. And since it is so full of pictures and other important things like The Sims that I can't even install any CD/DVD burning software. Woe is me. (A normal person would just say, "Uninstall The Sims and then reinstall it later", but I can't because I can't find the box the game came in and it's got a code on it that is needed when installing it. Wow, I'm a nerd.)

Anywho, my solution is to head off to Best Buy and get one of those flash drive thingamajigs and figure out how to work that thing and temporarily make some room so I can get the CD/DVD burning software installed. Then we can really get this show on the road.

Now to make you guys like me again I'm gonna leave you with this: